Knoebels

Audrianna went to knoebels with her Grandparents today and she had the best time! AWhen she got home she told me she rode the roller coaster with Poppy and she had her hands in the Air lol and poppy yelled but she didnt, hehe gotta love a 3yr old. She also went on the train which is one of her favorites and she did the cars and the whip with her uncles. Audri doesnt care for the slow rides she is a daredevil and likes to go on the fast/scary thrill rides, i think its because since she has had cancer nothing else is as scary as what she goes through everyday. It is now 12:30 and she just made her dad take her to mcdonalds because she is to hungry to sleep and wanted a chicken sandwich lol between McDonalds and Kentucky Fried Chicken we are going to go broke feeding her!!!!!! I am just happy she eats and i dont care if i have to spend every last dime to give her *the fat belly* she wants. She told her doctors she needed to get a Big butt and a Fat belly so her pants stop falling off! I think by the time she comes back she will be asleep in the car and will have to eat her chicken sandwich tomorrow:) Ok im gonna post more tomorrow before we goto the hospital. night all

Very LonG Week

Well we are home after a very long week and of course Audrianna didnt sleep all night because she is still on hospital time!Mommy is very tired and audri is awake and as soon as she opened her eyes she asked to go with her Poppy for the day so YAY mommy gets a bit of a break but i still have to go pick kyra up from Nana's house so i can spend the day with her.Today is our one full day home and then Sunday night we go back to the hospital to be checked in for ALL OF NEXT WEEK again for the 2nd round of this chemo. Next week is going to be very hard since Audrianna is going to get 2 chemos at the same time and the one makes her very sick and she will have to be hooked up to a pain pump the whole time to keep her comfortable.I am not looking forward to next week, watching her suffer really is the worst part of all of this. I am glad she went with her poppy today, he took her to Knoebels Amusement Park so she can ride the rides and be a kid for the day since its opening day! It's all she has been talking about for a month and i thought we were taking her but since she hasnt seen her grandparents all week she wanted to go with them and i let her so i could get laundry done to go back to the hospital and i could spend some alone time with her sister. Ok off to shower and go pick-up kyra!!!!!

Pain Ouch Pain!

Audrianna is having some pain this hospital stay but not from the chemo, from the fluid retention that made the groinal hernia pop out again!!So they are treating her with Dylaudid and having a surgeon come look tomorrow to make sure its not time for surgery ughh. Mommy is in pain to because Audrianna had a top heavy IV Pole and when i was pushing it the stupid thing fell over and i had to try and catch it before she got hurt.SOOOOOO lets just say my arm is throbbing and it feels like i pulled something out of place in my shoulder and my leg is black and blue where it hit me:(
It's always something in this place and well MOMMY is CLUMSY lol so i guess i need to be more careful before i end up in the bed next to audrianna. Sigh and mommy is mad because the people at T-Mobile are IDIOTS and couldnt help me fix my phone so i cant dial out on my modem and i cant get on facebook where i can at least talk to people to try and save some of my sanity each day,sigh. If the bitching and venting on here gets to much i appologize in advance but well i dont have anywhere else to vent to. Audrianna is finally sleeping peacefully so i guess i should go get some sleep since its the first night of our stay that she has been asleep before 4am and i am so exhausted but my brain is on over-ride and wont shutoff because im over-tired:( Oh well off to try and shut off my brain....Night All

Bad Day,Better night

This day started out really bad, we found out Audrianna has to be here till friday then she gets to go home and has to come back Sunday night to be readmitted for another week. PLUS our dates with the hospital that we gave to make-a-wish were all wrong due to an error so now we have to cancel our trip and redo all our plans grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!!!!!MOMMY was mad and on a rampage today and then i left the hospital for a while took a deep breathe and went to a jewelry fundraiser for audrianna.I want to say thank you to Robin Gruver for holding the fundraiser and to all the people that came out to support audrianna and our family!! Lynn again thank you for the beautiful video of our daughter its something we will always cherish.Thank You to Maria who lost her aunt and instead of flowers asked everyone to make a donation to audrianna, i cried so hard when i read that, everytime someone does something amazing like this it redeems my faith in people.Thank You to the 11th Graders from Holy Reedemer Academy(hope i spelled that right)who took time out of there busy social lives to come to the hospital tonight and meet me and audrianna and there wonderful teacher who brought them! This day started out bad but it has gotten better thank god for all of you who help me keep my sanity. Now i must get off here and go finish making audrianna's potpie because she is awake and hungry!

Calm Now

Ok now that Audrianna has recieved pains meds and is sleeping i have had time to calm down and stop hating the world.It's very hard to watch your child suffer and not be able to do anything about it. Not only is she in pain and suffering but the boredom is driving her crazy, she cant stand being locked in this room.The doctors have decided that if she does ok through the night then she can take a portable monitor with her to the playroom with her nurse so she doesnt have to be locked in the room for the whole 5 days!!!!!! Thank You God for listening because otherwise we were both going to lose our minds.These rooms are small to begin with and then when you cant leave they get even smaller. I have been trying to keep her positive all day and give her things to occupy her mind but mostly it didnt help:(I am really just praying she has a quiet night and tomorrow she can take a walk to the playroom and make herself happy because i cant stand seeing her sad! I am hoping i can sleep tonight,we have a very nice nurse name Meg buti am still uncomfortable having a nurse sitting in the room while i try and sleep,sigh,guess i need to get over myself.Ok i am going to try and get some sleep before audrianna wakes up crying for me because im not laying in her bed. Night all keep praying for us!Love Audrianna and her Mommy!

GRRRRRRRRRRR HOSPITALS

Ok so we were told to checkin to the hospital sunday night so that her chemo could start bright and early monday morning...YEAH RIGHT. Her chemo orders were messed up so they didnt start it till 2p, GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR i am so frustrated. Oh and then they tell us oh by the way this is a continuous 96hr chemo and she cant leave her room because she has to be on the monitor for the next 4 days straight omg im ready to hang someone right now.SOOOOOO on top of all that we have to have a nurse in the room round clock 24/7 which means no privacy whatsoever uughh uughh uuggh. I feel like crying,audrianna is crying and this stay is already crap!!!

Nana's Bday and Weekend with Family

Audrianna had a very nice weekend with out family from New Jersey that came to visit for her Nana's Birthday.She has her up and down moments where she feels GREAT and then she feels YUCKY but she still manages to be a kid and have a good time. She loves her Aunt Liz, Aunt Lovie, Aunt Gail, Aunt Pammy and Cousing Jen and had a great time visiting with all of them.She is a little sad today because they are all going home but she knows she will see them again so its ok.She had so much fun helping her Nana blow out the candles and then Making weird hats and face masks.I just wanted to quick let everyone know she is doing good!

Beautiful Birthday Dress and New Friends

Audrianna had a very good day today,She got a BEAUTIFUL Ariel TuTu Dress from the Wonderful TuTu Fairy! When Audrianna tried on her dress she said look at me mommy im a princess and started spinning in circles she loved it so much.One of the best things for me as a mom is seeing that beautiful smile on her face! Some days her smiles are few and far between but today she smiled all day long. After getting her wonderful dress we went to Burger King where she loves to Play on the playplace and we met some new friends.Riley and her Aunt Sandy came to vist and meet Audrianna.Riley is a wonderful girl 12yrs old that sings and performs and she wants to help Audrianna, and even if nothing comes of it, it was so great to meet her!Sandy and Riley brought gifts for the girls and they LOVED the bubble wands we played for hours with them thanks! Also got an awesome call today from a Hannah Impersonator from Ny who wants to come and perform for Audrianna at her Birthday Party!!!!!!!!!! So even if we dont get to meet the real Hannah THIS is going to be wonderful and Audrianna is going to be over the moon.This lovely lady and her daughter joined audrianna's wish page and then messaged us asking to do this, this renews my faith in people.Even though there are some people out there that are morons and bad mouth our family just for trying to get a WISH for our daughter, there are still people out there that understand all we are trying to do is MAKE HER HAPPY! I want to thank all of you on her wish page for helping her be happy xoxoxo we love you all!!!

Audrianna's Wish and News Coverage

Ok i have to say i am completely amazed at all the wonderful people out there that are trying to help audrianna get her wish!!!!When Heather started the wish page for Audri i never expected all this attention omg in 4 days over 30,000 fans.Our Local newspapers and News Station have picked up the story and run with it, Maybe just Maybe she will get her wish after all!!!! I just want to say Thank You to EVERYONE that is trying to make this happen for my beautiful babygirl. I also want to thank all the people offering to do fundraisers and helping to raise money for her medical expenses.It has been a year since Audrianna's diagnosis and it has not been an easy ride and it has been very financially draining on our family, so the outpouring of help from all of you touches my heart in a way that i cant even describe.I am sitting here completely choked up writing this, the feelings i have right now im not even sure i can put into words other then.....GOD BLESS YOU ALL AND THANK YOU SO MUCH!!!!!!
Love the Bartol Family

MRI Results

We got a phone call at 8:30am this morning from Doctor Ramdas to let us know the MRI was CLEAR!!!He says because this scan is clear they are going to keep her on the ILP Chemo that she has been on and then they will test her again soon.The spots they say on the MIBG scan may have just been Hot Spots in the original tumor beds but it does not look like at this time that they are NEW TUMORS!! I am thrilled for my baby but i am also afraid to believe it, with Neuroblastoma your always waiting for the other shoe to drop.The Mom part of me is jumping up and down for JOY that after a full year she may be on the path to recovery. The Cancer MOM part of me is terrified that this to could be something temporary and the next test could show something different....BUT im shutting the cancer mom part of me up with CHOCOLATE and im thinking POSITIVE!!!!!! lmao
Thank You all so much for Your love and Prayers and please continue to pray for her as her battle is far from over!!!!

MRI TOMORROW

Audrianna is going for her MRI tomorrow to see the new tumors in her Liver and on her Vena Cava with a closer look and hopefully find out if they can be biopsied to see if they are live or dead cells and if the treatment she is on is working or if we need to switch to a new course, please keep her in your prayers tonight!This has been a very scary 2 weeks not knowing what course of action they are going to take for our girl:( all we know is they are tellin us not to wait on things like her make-a-wish, to do them as soon as we can.As a mom this terrifies me because if they are saying to move things up so she doesnt miss them it makes me feel lik they are preparing for the worst.The doctors say its because the course of treatment she is going to undergo could make her ill and she wont want to go anywhere later, either way its very scary!I am terrified of the results of this MRI although i feel in my heart that the tumors are going to be live cells just like they originally said and i cant make myself think otherwise because then if/when they are live cells id be devestated all over again.Being the parent of a critically ill child SUCKS,there is no way around it, you have to make decisions and here things that no parent should ever have to do. No Parent should ever have to outlive there child and no parent should have to watch there child suffer.Ok just sitting here talking about this im getting hives im so freaked out so its time to log off. Thank You all in advance for your prayers!
P.S.
Im Adding a family picture of all of us at EASTER so everyone can see how beautiful her and her sister were!