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M&T Bank
50 Laurel Mall
Hazle Township, PA 18202
(570) 450-7830

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Thursday, September 13, 2012


Everyone keeps asking how im holding up,honestly i dont know how to answer that because im not im just going through the motions and doing all the things i have done before so that nothing is different or unusual for Audrianna so she doesnt get scared. I do know that i have been closing myself off and shutting down because i feel like if i keep talking about this, if i talk to my family or friends and tell them whats really inside me that i will fall down and i will Never get back up because there wont be enough pieces left of me.I know that i am probably hurting my parents,my brothers,my friends,my husband and everyone else that is close to me but i cant i just cant let go right now...i have this steel rod of determination in my back right now to get Audrianna all the things she needs/wants so that Never will we look back with regret and say we should have done that while she was here...i want to look back at her life and smile and say Wow look at all the things we did in the time she was here, she may not have been here forever but she sure taught us how to live while she was with us. No 6yr old should have or know what a Bucket List is...My 6yr old does. And the first thing on top of her list is GoTo Kindergarten(something she should be doing anyway)something other kids/parents take for granted my child is literally dying to do....She wants to ride in a helicopter, Go up in a Hot Air Balloon,Go Back to Disney and while she is there swim with the dolphins,Go back to Ny City and the big toys-r-us and ride the ferris wheel one more time...She wants a wheelchair for her american girl doll because then they can ride around in them together....and so many other things im sure that she hasnt told me yet because she isnt really feeling well enough to have a long converstation...This beautiful soul was given to me to love and cherish and right now that's what im concentrating on doing...Loving her and giving her everything she has asked for to the best of my if i tune you all out and i dont call you and i dont cry when you think i should because its unhealthy to hold it all in please just know that this is how im surviving right step/breathe at a time and dont hate me for shutting you out, respect me for holding on and standing upright to do what needs to be done.....I do want to thank you all for being there and for loving us and supporting us, for reaching out and lifting us up...for helping make her dreams come true...please know that everything that has been done for us throughout the last 3 1/2yrs has been appreciated more then you will ever know....the help with christmas gifts,the trip to sesame place,the trips to NYC, the trip to the beach on long island,the benefits held to help our family...All of those things are memories we never would have had with Audrianna if it wasnt for all the loving and caring people that have helped and loved her....So to all of you Thank You<3


  1. You need to do what you know is best for you and that precious little girl of yours, that is what mamas do. I am sure people that know you will understand. I can't even begin to imagine what you are going through, so I won't pretend to. I wish there was something I could to ease the pain and suffering that you and your baby are going through. I can and will pray for you and Audrianna. God bless you both.

  2. Angela Santorelli NEVER EVER EVER should you have to explain yourself. We all handle situations in our own ways. There is no book on how to deal with the potential loss of a child, or sister, mother, brother, aunt, uncle, best friend, and so on. But what should be obvious is that the people who love you and know you, know that in time you will come to us and you will talk, and you will cry. And just like you are always there for me when I finally admit there is a problem I will be there for you. Love you my friend...... Karen

  3. You dont ever have to apologize, explain, or justify a single thing Angela. Point are going through a war...every single minute of every day. And, you are fighting it with the most precious gift ever given to anyone....
    Your BEAUTIFUL, STRONG, AMAZING daughter. I think every parent who loves their kids would feel the way you do right now....and we love you. We will be here waiting for you....we all love you, we love Audriana and we love Kyra. Praying for each of you every day and always.


  4. You don't have to cry right now or ever. I didn't cry at all when I was with my dad on his last days. I was strong for him. But when you do cry let it out alone or with someone close to you. I know you and I know you will NOT give up ever. And I know you have made the greatest decisions already. You are amazing and just from knowing you a short while I know you care for others more than yourself. But just remember to TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF also. I also know that both of your daughters dreams will and have come true from having a mom like you. I don't believe in much in this world but I truly believe in HOPE and NEVER GIVING UP on the things you love. I have seen so many things change during my time here and some were most certainly for the better when I had no hope at all. That is why I still believe and know miracles do happen. I have all of you in my thoughts every day. With love, Michellez

  5. Sis you do what is Best for you in order to handle this, And to do what is best for YOU not anyone else..
    You have & always done the Very best for your baby..People especially those who love you should know that right now every moment of your time is precious & Sis Please remember even If you do not get to do everyone of those things, the most important thing you did give her is a tremendous. Amount of LOVE, She is part of a Very loving family !!!
    We have known each other for so so many yrs, we have laughed & cried together. We have helped others together & we have gotten in trouble together.. We truly are sisters !!! Yet we have never met face to face but that doesn't make a difference with us.
    So Sis you take whatever time you need I Truly understand what you are saying.. Just remember when/If you need a shoulder I am ALWAYS here for you anytime.... I Love You & our babygirl <3
    And I so wish I could somehow help her do ALL those things she wants to do & have. XOXOXO
    Check for a package @ the hosp tomorrow
    Love you guys <3

  6. You don't have to apologize for anything. You don't even have to apologize for apologizing. We love you and Audrianna and your family.