Surgery and Hospital stay day 2

Audrianna had her surgery on Friday August 19th to remove the tumor they found between her spine and her aorta. The surgeons were able to remove at least 75% of the mass but the other %25 percent was wrapped around her aorta and the main artery supplying the blood flow to her left leg, to try and get that she probably would have lost her leg or bled out so the docs left it there and we hope that they can now get it with whatever course of treatment we do next. My poor baby is in Alot of pain, her poor belly was cut from one side to the other so they could get in where the tumor was...right now she has an Epidural Infusion running into her back,Dylaudid every 3hrs and Toradol as Needed..Plus Benadryl every 4hrs as needed for the itching and she is still restlessly tossing and turning from the pain. She wakes up long enough to ask for more pain meds and go back to sleep. Sitting here watching my poor baby in pain is making me crazy and now she has to be on oxygen to because everytime they give her pain meds she desats-:(...i want to stand and scream WHY DAMMIT WHY!!!
Today my parents came to see us and tried to cheer audri up but that wasnt happening and she slept through most of the visit but it was still so good to have them here,I thank god for them everyday because without them i dont know how Audri.Kyra and I would have fought this battle the last 2 1/2yrs.
We also had a visit from our Dear Friends Annette and Jennifer Mckeon, who came bearing laughter which was greatly needed and lunch which was much appreciated.Poor Annette thinks audrianna hates her lol but really she just picks on her because she know she thinks that!! Annette bought audri a Butterly Light and audri didnt want anything to do with it while Annette was here but as soon as she left she asked me...Mom where's the Butterflies Auntie Nette bought me...omg she is such a stinker! While annette,jen and i were looking up treatments on the computer for relapsed neuroblastoma i saw Sommers Mom and i was like omg what is she doing here and went chasin her down the hall...Sommers Mom Jen and i have been through this fight together like family and Sommer like Audrianna was Cancer Free...today my heart broke when Jen told me Sommer is relapsed and its bad-:( WHY the F*&* cant Cancer leave our kids alone, why do they have to suffer?? And goddammit most of all WHY ISNT THERE A CURE YET???????????? These are all the questions i want answered and i want to scream them at the top of my lungs till someone gives me an answer. Why do kids who are told they are cancer free and you think they are gonna go on and be normal kids and goto the prom and get married end up back in here dying?? Audrianna is 5 and Sommer is 12....how is this fair? AND why oh why does everyone preach to me about how god is going to fix this?? Come sit in an oncology ward for an hour,meet these babies and then tell me if your all powerful god is sitting here with us because right at this moment im having a hell of a time finding the FAITH to BELIEVE that!!